The Psychology of Looking Good

So - you have a love/hate relationship with pictures?  You love to look at portrait sessions of friends and family members, but you feel that you do not look as good as someone else.

I've been there.

Yep - this photographer used to HATE having his own picture taken.  Like many, I was self-conscious of my body.  I'm a chicken armed, beer bellied, bad postured, fat-lipped mess!  Or at least that's what I saw when I looked at my own photo.  You know what the truth is?  No one else cares what I think of myself, because they see me as a person, not a model in a magazine ad.  Once I figured that out, I stopped caring how I looked physically in an image.

To the right is a selfie I made last year.  If I cover up my face, and force myself to look at the image as if it isn't of myself, then I am able to see that I don't look like a sloppy mess.  Granted... this image hides any beer belly with a black shirt, shadows, and a tenor sax...(which I may have done intentionally)  But really, no one looking at pics of me cares, or knows that I hated my own image.  All they see is some dude rocking out with a tenor sax and a sweet beard (which my wife made me shave bt dubs).

So how does one get over the self-conscious aspect of seeing their own photo?

Stop being selfish!  Realize this: You have your photo taken for more than yourself...  It is for your family.  For me, I had to become a daddy to realize this (even though I'm a professional photographer, and tell these things to clients often).  I had to realize that photos of me are for my daughter, because I will not be around forever.  Lets be real - death is part of life, and one day it will get me.  Who ever is left is going to want (at least I hope...) images to stir up good memories, and they aren't going to care that I thought my lips were fat and my arms were too skinny. 

So, me not letting my image be created is a selfish act, where I am taking future memories away from my daughter.  Once this hit me, all my cares about having my photo taken melted away.  Now I embrace the opportunity, and just remember that the person looking at my photo cares about it more than I do, and that is more important than me caring about my imperfections.

Other people love you, so don't be selfish!  It will put a smile on someone else, and that's more important than your own feelings about your physical appearance.  


Thanks for reading,

Comments & Stories welcome!